So I think I've finally gotten over my depression about big pumpkin not making his way into the record books. And really after battling with vine borers and excessive heat and drought I should be pretty happy with the results. Not to mention that big pumpkin is nearly perfect in shape and color and is going to make a stellar jack o' lantern.

The whole operation was quiet in the end. Kris came over and we knew that it would be a dirty operation. The mosquitos out back are brutal and we would have to keep low and off their radar as long as possible. I grabbed my brute shears, the ones that made The Husband make that Tim Allen grunt when I brought them home. They could only have been better if they would have had little flames painted on the handles. We ran out, I gave Kris the camera and I set to work. I held my breath as I began cutting through the vine. It was tough and in the end I had to come at it from both sides and use two hands even though I've easily felled 1 inch trees with these shears one-handed. I was amazed.

Once it was free I rolled it foward to check out the bottom, despite the sand there was a chance that there would be rot underneath. Athough I insisted I smelled a mold smell, the underside was not damaged in any way. We moved big pumpkin out of the way and snapped a quick picture of his empty spot and prepared to move big pumpkin out to Kris's car.

I heaved big pumpkin up and clutched him to my chest, then put him back down again. I opened the gate and cleared and path and we tried again. Dang. Big pumpkins are heavy. They're slick and they're round. (I know this sound obvious, but imagine trying to lug an enormous bowling ball). There's no good way to clutch it. Couple that with an intense fear of dropping the poor fellow and we must have looked like an old movie, running around the yard, Kris fumbling to get the car door open. I think I had to set him down in the front yard too.

Over at Kris's house she ran inside to get the scale and I had another crisis of strength waiting for her to get the scale to zero out. We weighed big pumpkin and then I looked at Kris. We both knew the plan. It was a simple plan. Bring big pumpkin over and store him in her basement. My basement was too wet. The flaw in the plan revealed itself as I stood there, panting, looking at big pumpkin on the scale. The problem with the plan was architectural. It lay in where people generally keep their basements. Most people that I know keep their basements beneath their houses. Which is fine, great for tornadoes and storage and stuff but to get to a basement one generally has to go down the stairs.

The look Kris gave me was one of "Your pumpkin, you carry." And she was right. Big pumpkin and I had made the journey together this far, I had to get him into the basement. So I picked him up again and down we went, thankfully without incident and I found him a comfy spot in a soft chair and that is where he sits today.

I managed to pull most of the muscles in my abdomen and up under my ribs carrying him around. I also added nearly 5.00 to my swear jar.

But I guess the big question now, since October is still a few weeks away, is how much did big pumpkin weigh?

I'm not telling! You get to guess! Leave a guess in the comments and the three that get the closest will get some genuine seeds from big pumpkin to try again at their house next year. Or if you are just feeling devious, to plant in the neighbor's back yard. Oh, and by the way, the "E" you see on the scale, not to worry, just an indication of how svelt big pumpkin is, no body fat to speak of.